“Flash Forward” and Bad Art


ABC is playing promos for their show Flash Forward constantly. If you haven’t seen Flash Forward, it’s kinda like Lost minus all of the entertaining elements. People complain that the makers of Lost “make it up as they go along,” a complaint you can lobby at EVERY STORY EVER CREATED. Idiots. Ahem.

Anyway, Flash Forward is clearly a show in trouble. The show’s creator, David Goyer, is already gone, and they brought somebody else in to make heads or tails of the nonsense Goyer’s crew came up with. Here’s how muddled the storytelling of Flash Forward is: There have been three different promos that end with Joseph Fiennes mumbling, “There’s gonna be another blackout!” In each of the promos, they’ve used a different line reading. They don’t even know how to properly set up the biggest twist in the short history of the show! I wouldn’t be surprised if the scene on the show is, “There’s never gonna be another blackout, ever, for reals!”

I’m reminded of another show, Heroes, which people said was better than Lost when it first debuted “because they answer stuff!” OOOOO! It doesn’t matter that the answers are retarded, the writing is embarrassing, and the storytelling is brain-damaged. The important thing is that they don’t make viewers think about stuff very long! Many people consider this a positive when it comes to art.

For some reason, lots of these people also buy premium movie channels, which baffles me. Why would you bother to pay for that when you have no interest in processing art beyond a juvenile level? My advice: save yourself some money and jingle your keys in front of your face.


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