“Crazy Heart”

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Is it me, or is the title of “Crazy Heart” kinda stupid? “Look out, everybody, MY HEART’S GONE KERRRAAAAAZZZYYY!” It’s the kind of title you expect a bad failed musician to come up with. The movie is about a failed musician named Bad. Wait, the title’s perfect!

Jeff Bridges won the Oscar for his portrayal of Bad Blake, a former country music legend now playing in bowling alleys. Maggie Gyllenhaal falls for him because he’s so . . . I dunno, drunk? OH WAIT NO he’s charming, and apparently Maggie’s character is unable to smell all of the puke in his beard. I like how the woman that changes Bad’s life has flawless skin and looks like a glamourous Hollywood actress. Just once I’d like one of the dudes in these “Loser Learns To Love” movies to be redeemed by an obese chick with scoliosis.

Bridges is good in the role, primarily because he’s good in damn near everything. Seriously, can we give it up for The Dude? “Crazy Heart” inspired me to watch “The Big Lebowski” immediately afterwards. I couldn’t finish it because I had too much beer. Bad Blake would have been proud.

Colin Farrell’s in it as Bad’s protege Tommy Sweet, who became an even more successful country music star after Bad durn near taught ‘im everythang that he knew derpa-doopa-dappa. I liked that his character wasn’t the usual jerk we expect from these movies. I also liked how the movie pretended that country music still existed, and all the songs were twangy, yee-haw, downright country-ish sounding music, with nary a teen girl or synthesizer in sight. It was adorable. I wanted to pat the movie’s pointy little head.

The title of “Crazy Heart” makes about as much sense as “Loony Liver” or “Hungry Brain,” but it’s a good movie. It’s small, and I’ll probably never think of it again once I press “Publish Post.”

Crazy Heart: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

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